Rude Longboarding ABCs

Rude Longboarding ABCs

by Andrew Pham, the kook king.

A is for ABEC ratings, that don't matter. 

B is for bearings, that won't make you faster.

C is for cruising, not a real discipline.

D is for Double Pendy, a full face ad.

E is for the Evo, not what you need.

See above.

F is for face plant, full scorpion.

G is for G-Form, that you'll ruin in one fall.

$$$No abrasion resistance$$$

H is for helmet, I love helmets.

I is for insanity, repeating the same mistakes and expecting different results.

J is for jank, like your setup and tuck.

K is for Kryptonics, they used to be legit.

#Sellout.

L is for LBDR, we blew all the spots.

M is for mall grab, it's just easier.

N is for narrow hangers, enjoy high siding.

O is for ovals, get new wheels.

You're not going to save them.

P is for pendy, because you can't predrift.

I skipped around in the video and I think it's only talking...

Q is for Quest, so many good reviews!

This is the actual amazon product image. Something is very wrong here...

R is for roll speed, you're not cool until you hit 50.

S for is stinkbug, you look dumb.

T is for toe side, and I thought your heel sides were bad.

U is for urethane, no combination will fix your wobbles.

V is for Valkyrie, that you can't afford.

I'd like to link you to our product page for Valkyrie to get some sales off this article but we can't afford them either.

W is for Walmart, the local shop.

The trucks are plastic...

X is for the X Games, I could have qualified back then.

Y is for you, ya kook.

I was going to insert some java here to turn on your webcam but then ya'll'd think you're being hacked. Take it from me though, it's easier than you think to snap a pic of you.

Z is for zeakous, overrated on reddit.

I mean... they alright.

Stoked Ride Shop may earn a commission if you purchase a product through one of our links.

The opinions and views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions or views of Stoked Ride Shop. The author makes no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this work and specifically disclaims any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. The author shall not be liable for any damages, including, but not limited to, direct, indirect, incidental, punitive, special, consequential, or exemplary damages, even if Stoked Ride Shop has been advised of the possibility of such damages. Ride at your own risk and within your own limits.

Leave a comment

All comments are moderated before being published.

This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.

Free shipping

Free shipping on orders over $25 within the lower 48